Anti-Bravery

I cannot wait until you die.

It is only then that I will be avenged.

It is only then that the truth will unravel.

It is only then that you will face your judgement.

I dont want you to die.

You are all I've ever had.

You are the only one who played music for me.

You are the only one who sang songs to me.

You were lucky no one heard us that night.

You were lucky I didnt scream.

You were lucky no one walked into the room.

You were lucky that CHRIST didnt strike you dead.

It was unfortunate that I was home that night.

It was unfortunate that I complied with your evil requests.

It was unfortunate that I loved you so very much.

It was unfortunate that I didnt love myself enough.

These days hold:

Fear of the dark

Fear of showering with the curtain closed

Fear of being touched in my sleep

Fear of you returning to my room 

Fear of every insignificant sound

Fear of going outside

Fear of being forever trapped inside

Fear of squeaky beds

Fear of secrets

(Fear of being asked to keep them)

Fear of bedtime

Fear of myself

Fear of YOU.